Do You Talk Too Much?

Do You Talk Too Much?

July 18th, 2010

Talking…AND Listening – The 2 Parts of Conversation

We’ve all experienced this person at one time or another. You know, that guy or gal who drones on and on with zero awareness of the interest level of the person that they’re talking to. Lord knows, I’m sure that I’ve been this person at one time or another, and I would venture to guess that almost all of us have been too.

The “Monologue Disease”

I call this the “Monologue Disease,” and find it extremely widespread but not often talked about. Trouble is, when it comes to the world of business, I have yet to meet someone who is fantastically successful while also manifesting this disease in his or her conversations with their fellow business-folk. Although victims of this disease are almost always well-meaning, the act of droning on and on without self-awareness tends to tire, stress-out, and repel others. In short, this is a truly devastating handicap for one’s efforts in the realm of in-person networking.

Of course, there are occasions where we must carry on a one-sided conversation for extended periods of time. Obviously, when delivering a speech, teaching or explaining something to a willing audience, or telling a story to people who are genuinely interested, we often do have to speak solo for a long while, so I’m not taling about those instances.

5 Tips for Overcoming “The Disease”

1. Employ the 30-Second rule. I believe that we all must develop an internal alarm system that goes off when we’ve been the only ones speaking for 30 seconds or more. Of course, I don’t suggest automatically shutting up after 30 seconds, but simply check in with yourself to make sure that this is one of those cases where speaking without a break is necessary.
2. Pick up on body language cues. Is the person you’re speaking to suffering from a case of shifty eyes or extra fidgeting? If so, you may want to take pause.
3. When it is necessary to speak for extended periods of time, make sure to leave a few pauses in your speech to allow for someone to get that proverbial “word in edgewise” if needed.
4. Slow down. Doing anything very quickly is usually a sure sign that we’re in an unconscious mode of autopilot and not attuned to what’s happening around us.
5. Stay conscious of your topic. There are times when veering off-topic into new and distant tangents is a part of a fun and lively conversation. But it can also be warm invitation for the dreaded Monologue Disease, so stay conscious when skipping about in this way.

Do I apply these 5 tips perfectly myself? HELL to the NO – so this is a good reminder for me as much as it might be for anyone else reading this.

I plan on expanding on the “Monologue Disease” as it applies to our online presence in a future post, as this is something I’ve certainly struggled with on my own web site.

QUESTION: Have you noticed the “Monologue Disease” in your own communications, or the communications of others, either personally or in business?

Category : Blog & Good Business & Web Wisdom